As I write this, it is lightly snowing and it is 16* outside. It is December and it is nice to see some snowflakes. I would like a white Christmas, cover up the brown grass and flowerbeds. I just don't want to wake up to tons of snow, which happens quite often here in North Dakota.
I am tired. It is the fatigue of cancer and chemotherapy. I have been sleeping about 7 hours a night, but I am tired. As a cancer patient, or I am assuming, a patient with a chronic illness, being tired is the norm. Other patients will understand what I am trying to say about being tired. You are tired from everything going on inside your body. You take lots of rest breaks, not naps, but resting. But no matter how much you rest, you are still tired.
If a cancer or chronic illness patient says they are tired, please don't respond with I'm tired too. You have no idea what tired is and will only make the person angry. I am tired of tests, of side effects, the insomnia and everything else. However, I am not giving up, NO...I am just tired.
I am also cold. Chemo must do something to my internal heater. I am always cold now. I was the first time I battled cancer too. I can have on fleece lounge pants, a sweatshirt, fuzzy socks, be under a big fuzzy blanket and my 2 cats on my lap and I will still be cold. I drink hot chocolate and wrap up more, but still cold. My house is warm, but I have blankets all over to wrap up in. I look forward to March, when hopefully I am done with treatment and can warm up again.
Being cold and tired is not fun, but it beats being sick from treatment. I read about others battling and the awful time they are having from chemo. So I am thankful that I am just tired and cold, it could be much worse.
Co-workers bought me a large Minion onesie! I laughed when I saw it, but I realize it just might be my favorite right now!
Stay warm my friends!
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