This week many people are making plans for Christmas. Making last minute lists of items to get at the grocery store, finishing up baking and wrapping gifts. It can be a hectic and stressful time.
This week I waited to get my CT scan done. Wednesday arrived, I went to my lab appointment and to my CT scan. I think there were a lot of cancellations due to the holiday week, because I had my results by the time, I got back to work Wednesday morning.
The results were not good, but I had a feeling for over a month that something was wrong, that the cancer was back, unfortunately I was right about that, again. It is noted that I have Peritoneal Carcinomatosis scattered about my abdomen with ascites. Peritoneal Carcinomatosis is a rare type of cancer that can develop when gynecologic cancers spread. It can cause tumors to grow in the peritoneum, the thin layer of tissue that lines the abdomen and covers most o the abdominal organs. It is often considered a terminal cancer, but there have been a few statistics showing people living beyond the known expectancy of 4-8 years.
I held in my emotions till I got off work at 5. I had texted my mom, my brothers and sister to tell them the news. After work I texted the rest of my family. I cried. Members of my family cried. I asked myself what have I done to continue to get ugly diagnoses? I asked GOD, why me? I reached out to my online OC group. I talked to my mom. I read messages I got from my group. I shared my news on FB. Messages started to pour in. Text messages came.
Keep fighting Dolly. Dolly, keep fighting, you inspire so many. Dolly you are a Warrior. You have beat this before, you will do it again. And on and on.
Then on the group site. Dolly, I have been fighting this PC disease for 10 years and I am still here. Dolly, I had PC 11 years ago, we just keep going. Dolly, I just got the same diagnosis today, what is your treatment plan?
Rays of hope! Yes, it is GOD telling me I am not alone. I have a purpose! He never gives me more than I can handle. Peritoneal Carcinomatosis is not the gift I wanted this Christmas, but I will use this 'gift'. I will continue to show others that you can live with a devastating disease. You can live a full life. The sun is shining. Family and friends love and support me. I got this; I will be ok. Life is a gift. Make memories. Cherish your loved ones. Live. Love. Laugh. Eat chocolate cake for breakfast. Thank you for your love and support.
Merry Christmas!
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