Yesterday I had chemo. I had my Topotecan and Avastin. It was the 123rd time my port has been accessed or poked. Yes, I have kept track.
Over 5 years ago when I began this battle, I was lost and confused when it came to cancer. I researched everything. I created my battle binder. I collected lots of information. I looked for help in the world of cancer. I found lots of information and was also very disappointed too. Organizations I was led to believe were "the leader in cancer treatment" turned out to be false advertising.
These past years I have learned more. I have been beaten down emotionally, physically, and financially. I was social distancing to protect myself before we ever heard of covid. I have gotten more knowledgeable about cancer, chemotherapy, side effects, and insurance. I have shared my battle with many, in order to help others and show that you can still live with an ugly disease.
I have more scars, large and small. I have had 10 different chemotherapy cocktails. I have had organs and parts of organs removed from my body. I have lost my hair twice and currently have really, really thinning hair. I am on a first-name basis with my pharmacist and the radiologists.
I am tired of being tired. I am tired of the side effects. But I keep going. I am so thankful for my family. I may have cancer, but they are dealing with it too, thru me. Thursday evening I was at a benefit for my neighbor-nephew Jimi. I told my family that I was about to get my 123rd stick. My brother Mike laughed and said, wait til 150...that's a number, 123 is nothing. Oh, we had a good laugh. They know how to make me laugh. I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful for my coworkers-who are like my own support group. They have listened to me cuss and cry. They keep me going.
I have lost friends and family to this ugly disease. I have many friends that are battling with it too. Unfortunately, there seems to be more and more being diagnosed with cancer. We will keep fighting. We will keep supporting each other.