This past week a friend of mine reached out with an ugly message, " I have a huge tumor on my ovary and I am being referred to Mayo". My immediate response was oh geez, think positive thoughts!!!!
During the week I was asked a lot of questions. Everything from who was my doctor, how long was I in the hospital, to how bad is chemo and how do you deal with this lie changing news? I have answered her honestly. I have shared things I did to help understand ovarian cancer. I told her to get a battle binder, fill it with a calendar for appointments, loose leaf paper for your questions and symptoms, pockets for all the information you are going to get. Take that binder with you everywhere, it helps keep you organized when you can't process a thought.
Although she hasn't been told she officially has cancer, tests show spots elsewhere in her body. She told me today the doctors want her to start chemo to shrink the tumor before surgery. That is how I started, I did 3 rounds of chemo, it shrunk the tumor. I told her about the chemo, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Good is that it fights your cancer. Bad is the side effects like neuropathy, hair loss, fatigue, changes in taste and smell and more. Ugly is the potential sickness that many patients get, vomiting and diarrhea and the main ugly thing...getting a lifetime membership to a club you don't want.
I told her to keep positive and look for positives. Losing your hair is tough, you lose it all. But you save on haircare, you don't have to shave your legs or underarms for months and forget the bikini wax, chemo gives the best Brazilian ever! That brought on laughter.
I know in the coming days, weeks and months she will be reaching out. And I will be there, fighting alongside her. She asked the question I have wondered about...why me? She said, I try to live a good life, I try to help others, "don't I have karma points"? We laughed, I said, yeah, I try to be healthy, a good person, help my community and yet...boom! And the next question...why didn't I notice anything? I told her we are strong women, we have responsibilities and we often ignore little twinges or feeling not the best. We just keep going, when we really need to slow down and listen to our bodies.
I wish she didn't join the 'club', it is life changing and hard. Unfortunately there are more and more of us, different cancers, but members of that dreaded club. God never gives us more than we can handle, although at times it is really hard. But now I know why I got cancer. I have an answer to the 'why me'?
I may not have a medical degree, but I have experience. I am taking on a new role. Cancer Coach!
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